Famous slaps and related violence
(REGURGITATED)
1. Rayila slapped a D.O somewhere in Mandera in the mid 1990s. I can’t remember the details.
2. Ruto gave Reuben Chesire a ‘kofi ya stima’ at state house Nairobi, as Moi watched. Poor guka was definitely to frail to resist or respond. He absorbed the slap roho Safi.
3. Kidero slapped Shebesh so hard that the latter saw ‘vimulimuli’, and responded “Kidero you’ve slapped me?”
4. Mzee Kenyatta was attacked by two members of British National Socilist movement, given a dozen slaps in quick succession, before je was rescued by his security detail, at the Hilton, London, in 1964. The atackers had accused him of killing their ‘white brethren’ in Africa. A scared Mzee pulled and Omanyala and hid inside his car.
5. An old man from Kinango in Kilifi sneaked up the podium with a nyahunyo and flogged Rayila severally on his back, foe greetings. By the time his security got up there, Jakom had eaten nyahunyo ya kutosa.
6. Martha Karua slapped Jakom in the national assembly somewhere in 2003. (Seems Rayila takes an early lead as the biggest recipient of violence)
7. A murang’a man, was intercepted by hawk eyed security details, while advancing towards Ruto with his fists clenched, in a manner likely to suggest he was on a mission to deliver an uppercut on the then DP’s mandibles. Aliponea chupu chupu.
8. Moses Kuria mysteriously snatched Millie Odhiambo’s catapult and ran away with it, during an altercation that turned a melee in the national assembly. A catapult is is a G-string.
9. Opondo Kaluma, the Homabay town MP, once wrestled his opponent, Washington Ogaga to the ground, on the dias of some political event in his backyard, Homabay stadium. I blamed him for not using his god given asset, the rusty teeth, to bite the opponent and inject tetanus in him.
10. In December 1957, a prisoner who had been transferred from Manyani to Lokitaung attempted a throat surgery on Mzee Kenyatta, with an intention of killing quickly and permanently. Mzee saw him advancing towards him with something very sharp, and screamed for help and he was saved. The man had been sent by Kenyatta’s opponents
11. Bera Kibet, the JKUAT student who was caught scaling the State House perimeter, on a mission to give the tenant of the premises a free throat surgery. By then, the house was occupied by Uhuru.
12. A certain Likuyani parliamentary election loser, locked the gate and ordered his workers to bring a nyahunyo which he used to rain violence on an agent who had gone to ask for his payment after working for him in the election. He was beaten like a rented mule.
13. Simba Arati unleashed his goons on kolik Titimus. They roughed him up and snatched his skullcap known as a taquiya in Urdu.
14. Bwana Mapambano, Otieno Kajwang’ attempted to eat David Mwenje, by bitting his back, bit his efforts were fortunately thwarted by the Sergeant at Arms.
15. Chinkororo almost finished Ruto in Kisii, but luckily he was built for speed. He pulled an Omanyala and reached his chopper in time, with his life intact but left behind a shoe, and his trouser was also punctured. The Chinkororo commander, one Simeon Nyachae accused Ruto of attempting to urinate on them.
(In the photo, obtained from Levin Opiyo , Kenyatta takes cover inside his car after the attack.
